Respect!

I really don't know how to start off this post. I've been thinking about it all day and all night, its been weighing heavy on my heart since an instance happened last night after I got home from having dinner.

After going out to dinner, I got home around 9:30 and saw a post from a friend of mine on instant messenger, I thought he was in need of help, but I was wrong, he was just in trouble with 2 Sirs and getting his butt blistered. I wrote back that he deserved it and then I wrote one of those most stupid statements that I've ever written, I'm not going to repeat what was said, but after I was called out on it, I felt so bad. I then sent a text message to one of them, and said something I wish I wouldn't of, but I said that I didn't know that they were reading the message, so I was asked Is that how you talk about me behind my back? I sent back that it was the first time that I had done so.

I haven't slept much, I've cried several times today (I'm not trying to make someone feel sorry for me either), Up until this point I felt that I had a decent relationship with these two men, but I'm starting to question whether or not that is the case now.  I've sent several text messages that have gone unanswered and I've been rather quiet most of the day, even while at work this weighed on my mind.

As I look back on it, I realize I was being very disrespectful to the two Doms that I call Sir, they aren't my Sir, but I still call them Sir out of respect. But, I wasn't respectful last night. I wish I could be near them today, so they could see how remorseful I am about this whole situation. I have great respect for both of them and want to show them how much.

Someone that doesn't know me or just happens to come across this blog may just ask themselves, why is he so upset about someone being upset with him? I guess its like a parent being disappointed and upset with one of their children, I have that much Respect for SirW and SirV that I feel this way, I feel like a child that has been sent to their room and is waiting to hear from them,  What to say? What to do to right this wrong?

SirV and SirW, I'm so sorry, can you please forgive me for this?

Tigger